Scary Fat

I am the kind of fat that I hate. A sloppy fat. The kind where your chin rolls three times into your neck and the waist band of your pants receives a roll of fat above and below it. I am misdirected again. I was so " GOOD " for the briefest of times in what I ate. I am now at a loss of self again. Shit! I am tired of fat but not tired of the food that makes me that way!