I was on the right track. Eating better, cutting back, feeling some of my energies returning. I had discovered a world of no sugar things to eat. Full of chemicals probably but NO sugar. i went to the doctor in January who said I had lost weight, a lot of weight. Oh no! He said it! If I hear it, I sabotage myself and put weight on. I eat and eat and eat. Chocolate chips melted on triscuit crackers. Ice cream. Cookies. Hershey's kisses. Why, oh why, do I sabotage myself this way?

What stresses me at this moment? Michael's wedding date of June 30th. Now I HAVE to go east and figure out the journey. Go home. Let people, family see how fat I am. Sorrow, bewilderment. How did this happen? When? Help. In this messed up tornado tossed world, I am saying help over the miseries of food issues. Eating too much. Being fat.