Right up until today, when I found the little bag of chocolates in my studio, I had done pretty well in the eating department. Watching what I eat, not heading out for candy on work breaks and not eating after 8, except for last night which was a Saturday night after all. A night I used to party during school, a night four family when I was previously married and a date night when I was no longer married. Now it is a TV night so it calls, doesn't it for some kind of treat?

I do know that my energy level increases when I eat carefully. I like that. I just have a difficult time ending a day and I can rush from thing to thing, place to place all day. I guess my clock will reset itself.

I am trying not to be harsh with myself but I am wicked cruel when evaluating my food failures. You would think after and honest to God lifetime of this overeating nonsense, I would have some idea of how to reign it in.

Whoa boy. Have I screwed up. I am totally, unbelievably, horribly overweight! I saw in the doctor's notes how much I weigh. I know it is just a number, a BIG number but everything about me is tied into it. I need to eat less. I need to give up chocolate and sweets and late night snacks and oh so much more. I don't want to feel deprived but for now and many, many months in the future, I must do just that, deprive myself. Damn! I hate having to watch what I eat. Misery.